So the Boss Thinks We're Working? Great. Here’s How to Keep That Illusion Alive – Like a Pro.

(These only work if you read till the end!)

In the era of remote work, motivational quotes on LinkedIn and TikTok, and the struggle for work-life balance, let’s just say it as it is: why work at 100% capacity if you’re not making a four-digit salary in euros, when you can just… pretend you’re working?

Our bosses “screw us over” every day

• salaries stay the same for months,
• they demand office presence (haven’t they realized it’s so last decade?!) for a full 8 hours,
• they pile us with tasks, even ones not in our job description,
• we have to write reports and talk to clients,
• and no one cares whether we feel like it, or if Mercury is in retrograde.

So, many of us have thought: if the boss is screwing me over, why not return the favor?

That’s why, in this post, we present

5 effective strategies

for professional survival with minimal effort:

1. The “Teams/Zoom Phantom” Strategy

• Log in exactly at 9:00 AM, then vanish into thin air.
• Set your status to “In a meeting” and wrap yourself in a blanket.
• If no one asks where you are – all good. If they do – say you were in a *deep focus zone*.

Bonus tip:

If you're in the office – rush in with at least a 10-minute delay. Sit down and look very busy (a slight frown adds credibility). If anyone asks what you're doing – say you’re focusing deeply.

2. Operation “Lunch” – Minimum 2 Hours

• 12:00 – time to “recharge your batteries.” After all, you have needs too.
• A keto soup, a TikTok scroll, a decaf (healthier!), a quick shopping run… and boom – it’s 2:00 PM.
• Work’s not going anywhere. But your inner balance? That’s at risk. To be your most productive self, you need emotional balance and endorphin-driven motivation.

Bonus tip:

Learn sayings like “You can’t stand a sack upright if it’s empty” or “A hungry bear doesn’t dance” and throw them into conversations. Folk wisdom gives weight.

3. Master the “Task Tetris”

• Got a task? Move it down your inbox.
• If it hides deep enough – it might just solve itself.
• Or better yet, a colleague with a responsibility complex might take it on.

Bonus tip:

Practice your mentor-smile in the mirror – after all, you’re “training” others to do your work too.

4. The Art of “Meeting for the Meeting”

This is a tried-and-true tactic.

• Set up a meeting to discuss why there are no results.
• Invite more people (help your favorite teammates).
• Speak with concern, use words like “synergy,” “optimization,” “team accountability,”.
• And finish off with: “Let’s circle back to this in the next meeting.”

Bonus tip:

Always block at least 20 minutes before and after the meeting in your calendar – you need time to “prepare” and “analyze outcomes.”

5. Multitasking Mastery (Relax, it’s not what you think)

Turn on Spotify, plan your Friday night in the group chat, watch YouTube videos on “How to be more productive.” You’re actually helping boost the team's morale.

Bonus tip:

Walk around the office with a “mildly concerned” expression – looks like you’re on an urgent mission. It works. Plus, it’s good to stretch. If you’re remote, cut off convos with “I’ll call you back – I’m being pinged on the other line.”

 

Thinking “Bosses just get rich off our backs”? Follow these tips and you’ll show them...

…Or, maybe check your employer’s Excel before demanding a raise.

Let’s get a bit more serious.

Did you know that if you’re earning, say, 3000 BGN net, your employer actually pays around **5058 BGN** for you? And it’s quite fair to expect contribution equal to that full amount – not just the 3000 you see.

Here’s the simplest breakdown (not counting office massages, fitness cards, pizzas, fruit bowls, etc.):

• Gross salary: 3866.07 BGN
• Employer-paid contributions: 731.45 BGN
• Paid leave, sick days, coverage: ~300 BGN
• Equipment, software, licenses, laptop: ~100 BGN
• Coffee, office supplies, workspace, electricity, cleaning: ~50–70 BGN

And that’s not including mistakes, missed deadlines, or lost clients because someone “didn’t read the email.”

The goal of employers isn’t to screw their team over – it’s to grow a business with their help. Because trust us, they know they can’t do it alone.

Employers don’t print money.

Money comes from successfully closed business deals. And when the boss wants to raise salaries but there’s no profit, responsibility falls on both sides.

Bonus tip:

Negotiate pay based on performance (aka a bonus system tied to revenue). That way, you’ll share the profits. But – your base salary won’t be dream-level. And that’s fair. That’s how business economics works.

 

The Moral (if you’ve made it this far)

Trying to screw over your boss by slacking off is like drilling a hole in the boat you’re in.
The boss has a life vest. You – probably just a CV with no references.

• Want a raise? Great – but it comes with results, not memes.
• Want respect? Then show some to the person paying your salary and Wi-Fi.

Work isn’t the enemy. It’s an opportunity.
And the boss isn’t a monster – he just has spreadsheets with your name next to a serious figure.

Final words with a smile

If this stung – good. Something clicked.

If you laughed – even better.

But if you saw yourself in this… maybe it’s time to set your alarm a bit earlier tomorrow.

Bonus tip:

Every rule has exceptions – both among employees and employers.
Let’s not lump everyone together. And let’s not forget – "what goes around, comes around".